2 months left in Boston until we head back to our home country South Africa - can't believe that we have been here for 10 months!
Living in Cambridge has been an eye-opening experience for both Athol and I.
As we enter our last 2 months here, I've taken a moment to reflect on some of my eye-opening experiences and learnings. This is what living here has opened my eyes to....
Attitude is everything
Nothing is impossible if you just out your mind to it. The American can-do attitude is admirable, it really is the land of opportunity. Think big! Allow yourself to dream. Attitude and being proactive is key. If things don't work out the way you planned, keep at it, you'll find a way. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there, something good or maybe even great could come of it. Each individual has the power to change their own destiny.
Appreciate life, cherish every minute and be open to learning new things - sometimes you need to take a big leap out of your comfort zone
It was a big unknown for us to come to America for a year, we didn't know what to expect. We knew however that this was an opportunity that we couldn't refuse because in 10 years time we wouldn't want to regret not doing it - whether the experience was good or bad. We had to leave behind our beautiful house, our families, our jobs... our good life.
This was the first time that I've been in America and I have been extremely fortunate to share this amazing experience with my wonderful husband. A sabbatical year off to just do whatever I want - not many people have the luxury of this! I have never been one to just sleep, loaf around, watch TV, shop, go do my hair and nails, etc. Instead, I decided to spend the year learning Mandarin, auditing two classes at Harvard, tutoring English to immigrants in Chinatown, exploring Boston, learning about America, meeting new people from around the world and learning about their cultures, illustrating a children's book and being a good wife to my student husband :) one of the best year's (if not the very best) of my life! Athol too is having an amazing time here, he has always had a curious mind so where else than to be in the heart of one of the leading academic institutions in the world. This year has been better than we couldn't have ever imagined. No regrets at all.
Benefits of living in a first-world country
It has been amazing to see the benefits of living in a first-world country - first hand. Consistent good customer service is possible. Things just work here, like clockwork - public transport, businesses, restaurants, deliveries, etc. People take pride in their jobs. Since America is so developed they don't have to focus on the basics like poverty and crime they have the luxury of focusing on a higher standard of living - first-world problems are very different to thisr-world problems.
Crime is not normal
What has been eye-opening for me is the fact that it is possible to live peacefully without fear of being robbed, murdered, raped, etc. Thinking back of how we live back in Johannesburg is really sad. The murder rate is the highest in the world. We live with high walls, electric fences, alarms, garden beams, panic buttons, etc. We don't go out at night, we don't walk anywhere, we always make sure that doors and windows are locked and there's always the fear that someone wants to rob you (women at church even take their handbags up with them when they go up for holy communion!). I was sad to see a Cape Town online discussion where someone was advising other residents to have multiple dogs because robbers can easily poison one! Gosh, what kind of a world are we living in?! Having lived in Johannesburg for most of my life, I can certainly understand why Oscar Pistorius was paranoid about crime - people from the rest of the world simply cannot understand this. South Africans have accepted their fate that this crime is normal and that there is nothing that can be done about it - very sad. That life is certainly not normal! Living in Cambridge has made me realise that you can live without fear.
Live simply and conscientiously
It has been good to live simply once again - when you have to go back-to-basics it makes you appreciate the little things. We can over to Boston with only one suitcase (20kg) each. We had some clothes, our camera, video camera, Athol's laptop and our Nintendo Wii :) Here we live in a two bedroom apartment with no garden. When we got here we had to start from scratch and buy all new furniture and other necessary household things. It's funny knowing that you will only be in a place for a year so you behave very differently - you buy the cheapest furniture (only what is necessary) and you behave like a tourist and soak in every little thing. I'm a housewife here :) I do the laundry, cooking, dishes and cleaning (reminds me of my early working days when I had no choice but to do everything myself) but actually I don't mind it much as nothing makes me happier than making my husband happy :) Fortunately, the property managers deal with any maintenance issues and they are very quick and efficient. We had to get American cellphone numbers. We haven't had our cellphones ringing all the time with salesman trying to sell you something like in SA, plus nobody really calls us here, we use our cellphones just for Athol and I to keep in touch with each other. Here we don't have a car, we just walk and use public transport. Back home in SA, we have nice cars and a beautiful big house with a domestic worker, gardener and dishwasher so we don't have to deal about cleaning, maintenance, etc. However, the more you have the more that potentially can go wrong! Actually looking back now, it seems rather spoilt, snobbish and pretentious - especially since the majority of the population doesn't live that. Living here has made me realise that sometimes simpler is better. Success is NOT about having fancy cars and houses or going on trips to exotic places and staying in 5 star hotels or having the most money or going to a spa/beautician/hairdresser every week or being CEO or sipping cocktails/whiskey or having the latest gadgets (like ipads, iphones, etc.). Success is doing what you love, in the place that makes you the happiest, surrounded by the people you love and making a difference in the world.
Make a difference in the world - no matter how small
It has been a humbling experience for me to tutor English at the Boston Chinatown Neighbourhood Center. Knowing that I am making a difference in one person's life so that she can become a confident individual is a very rewarding experience. These immigrants can't speak English and struggle in their everyday lives - they don't want to go out and speak to people because they simply cannot understand and speak English. It is frustrating trying to do simple things like shopping, going to a restaurant or going to the post office or bank. The teachers told me this week that my tutee's pronunciation has improved so much over these past months and thanked me for working with her. I can't remember when last I made such a difference in someones life back home in SA.
Perceptions and the evilness of power
Living here in America has made me question and challenge the status quo (of course my husband has influenced me a bit here!). The media largely influences the way people think and how they perceive other people and countries. I have followed the South African news both locally and from America and I have seen the subtleties and perspectives from the different sources. I for one am guilty for being gullible and believing what I read in newspapers but I know now that it is important to remember who is writing it and what their intentions are. Often what we read is not the entire truth - they may not be directly lying to readers but it is what they are not saying that might lead us to believe otherwise! this can be dangerous...
For example, people tend to think that Russians, Chinese, Japenese, Italians and South Americans are bad. Why do people think that? because we see it in movies and TV which just happen to be made in America. Another example, people tend to think that fat people are stupid, blond women are dumb, gay people are feminine, etc. Why do people think that? Again, we see it in US TV sitcoms and laugh about it. It is these subtleties that actually brainwash us. The government and media have a lot of power and can make people believe something without them actually knowing it.
America has the biggest military therefore they have the most power in the world. However, we know that with power comes great responsibility and sometimes power can be used for evil so we need to challenge what we see/read.
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